Life

Here goes another attempt of blogging parts of life. I've attempted before but never seemed to stay with it. My biggest hesitation in beginning is the all consuming nature it has to ability to become. I just have to work through that. I have started a new chapter in life and we are hoping to embark on a new one together soon so here ya go!


A little update on where we are in life right now...


Cory... is working at a wonderful company here in the metroplex as a customer service representative for an HVAC company. He's been working there since September. He loves it! It has it's challenges of course, but in my opinion, it has been completely fashioned by the Lord for him to be here in this position. He is amazing at it! He will be moving into a sales position for the company within 6 months-a year. Although I do despise when he uses his sales tactics on me such as the "sales voice", the business associate face, and sealing a deal with me...he is rather good at it! God's faithfulness has been evident already hugely throughout his job. I think he will do exceptionally well when he moves into sales. He is so good with people!


Me... I have been through much change in the last two years. I say that but really, WE have been through much change in the past two years together. How incredible He has been through it all! He is faithful...a lesson learned again and again and again...and again.
I worked for Irving ISD for my first year out of college and met some incredible kids and co-workers. It was such an over-whelming and draining job/district. I finished the year out and due to stress related health issues and lots of prayer before the Lord, we decided that I was not going to go back. My principal was so gracious and understanding. She was such a blessing and welcomed me back if I could return in the future!


I was thankful for the confirmation of this in my heart through really seeking after the Lord but it was hard for me to tell people and have to "explain myself". I had questions and statements like, "Why did you leave a perfectly good paying job in this economy?!", "Just give it a couple more years.", "It's a job; you'll never love your job." --All such gut-wrenching statements for such an avid people-pleaser. A sweet friend encouraged by saying, "Anytime that I have truly sought the Lord through devoted prayer and fasting over a serious matter, He has ALWAYS made it clear." That was what I was looking for. That's what I needed. I needed that kind of reassurance. HIS wisdom. HIS faithfulness. HIS provision. Don't get me wrong, I don't just take wisdom and advice from those that I respect and throw it to the wind but through such conflicting advice from so many, the Lord Jesus graciously drew me in close to seek HIM for myself. Looking back, this is definitely something He used to strengthen my prayer life.


This led me to my next job. I found a school semi-close to our apartment that was a christian preschool. It seemed wonderful! In all honesty, I was so abundantly blessed by the families and children that I was able to teach and know there. Sadly, I was only there for a short time before something happened that was made clear to me that I needed to leave. Christ is all and in all. Lots happened and when it came down to make a decision to compromise and stay or pursue righteousness and leave, I knew what needed to be done. I again went through the agonizing battle of the mind and fought my pride. I didn't want to leave ANOTHER job! How would this look to everyone who loves and cares about us?! I want CONSISTENCY! WHY do I care?! I know there were many who truly cared and gave opinions based on what they thought was best for us. We felt loved through it. We knew again, this would have to be through the Lord.


I resigned right before Christmas time. It broke my heart to have to do this. I trusted in the Lord. I wanted to stay somewhere where I could establish roots and plan to be for years and not be so inconsistent. Again, what lesson did I learn? God's faithfulness. His provision in what was to come has been unmatchable. Since Christmas, there have been many more things that have come about that have been even deeper confirmation of my decision to leave. I was also able to take all of January to spend time being restored.


It was also in January that...
       * I learned to do crock pot meals every day that is very cost efficient AND time saving!
              Woo HOO! Wife points!
       * I was able to take time to get our house back in order. Cory was so happy :)
       * Tuppie and I developed a love/hate relationship due to lack of house training that can
              be done in an apartment.
       * We decided that we will be buying a house & moving to Flower Mound/Lewisville area
       * I started packing everything up in boxes that I had just spent weeks getting "in order"
       * Cory went to doctors and specialists all over to see why he's been having headaches  
              for the past few years. And praise God for no cancer or tumors!
       * Cory encouraged me to rest and be renewed while at home.
       * My days and nights got mixed up and are currently :(
       * We talked about me getting a job in February.
       * We grew closer in our marriage as we grew closer to Him. Praise God for that!!
       * I was able to be encouraged and have really great intentional time with some
              incredible women.
    
The week before February rolled around and no job. I had not been looking at all. I
was going to start looking in February-ish so the thought of switching the calendar over to the month of february brought about some anxiety that I quickly had to surrender to Him.
I cried...alot. I cried because I thought I would have to go back to teaching. That's what is assumed. I got a degree in teaching. Teaching pays the bills...well, some of them! If you are a teacher, you know exactly what I mean. I don't LOVE teaching though. I love kids and I love doing ministry with kids. I love teaching truths about scripture and about God to kids.
I was asked to be on the Little Village team of teachers in January to teach my 3 year old class each weekend. This thrilled my heart but also scared me. What if this was the only "ministry" that God ever allowed? What if He doesn't provide full time kids ministry to me as a job?


This shows my lack of trust and little faith in Him. The spirit revealed the deep longing in me to TRUST that God is for my good in His glory. I always am fearful of letting the things that I care about the most go and trusting them to Him. I can "trust" Him with all the things that don't really stir my heart for much affection but when it comes to things like my husband, my passions (children's ministry and missions), my family, good friends, and my future, I am not willingly surrendering those to the One who is the Creator of all of those things. In His name, all things are held together. He is before all things.


Even through typing these things, my heart wants to cry out to the Lord like in Mark, "I do believe; Help me in my unbelief!"


So trusting Cory and his life and health to him is sometimes a battle but He has not given up on drawing me to Himself and proving His faithfulness. Not proving that He will always give me Cory and nothing will ever happen bad to him but proving His faithfulness that HE is my refuge. This was another one of those things. Trusting Him.. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." This kept coming to mind when I prayed and cried over wanting to do children's ministry as a job. I wanted to be delighting in Him. The spirit of God faithfully heard my cry and convicted my sinful heart. I felt the conviction and encouragement that my HOPE cannot be found in children's ministry but in Christ and in Christ alone! Easy to say now... but then it was a hard but true concept to grab hold of.


At the Village, our worship pastor wrote this song. It's an incredible CD if you need a good worship CD. I was listening to one of my favorite songs on it called. My Hope is Christ. I stopped right in the middle of singing it around the house one day knowing that it wasn't true about my own heart where I was currently struggling. Through prayer, God was gracious and cared enough to reveal that sin to me so that I could have freedom in that.


THE NEXT DAY.... it was the weekend and literally, 4 job offers. No one I had sought out myself really. Only through talk of people around here hearing I was looking. Out of those, I had a sweet and precious family ask me to be their nanny/teacher to their kids. After talking logistics and praying, I accepted the position to start the first full week of March.
Ages 2, 3, and 6. The six year old will be at school during the day but my time will mostly be spent loving on and teaching the youngest two. The mom and dad are amazing! They are a family that I already know pretty well. They want me to be able to take the kids places during the day too! :)
As we were driving around the day I accepted the position, Cory said to me, "Isn't God so good. You wanted to do children's ministry and this is the best form of children's ministry I can see in our lives right now!" SO true! I was so thankful for his prospective in that.


So, that's where we are now. Cory is working and learning more about his position. He will be spending time in Milwaukee soon for training. I am getting ready to start nannying in a few weeks as I attempt to complete the packing process of our apartment. AND we are both searching for a house without much luck right now. So you could join us in praying for that process.


Sheeesh! That was long. I promise not to always be this long winded but since it was my first post, I figured it deserved some space.


Reflective on some things tonight/this early morning:
Thankful to be saved from wrath and darkness and saved into His glorious Light!
Thankful for a story to tell of His faithfulness and grace.
Just. so. thankful.